The Almighty Nine And One, With A Side Of Cuteness
by Feel Free To Improvise
Summary: The first meeting between demons and vessels.


_**FFTI: **__Hello my dear friends and readers! I don't own Kyuubi, Naruto, Gaara, or Shukaku... But if I did, I would make Kyuubi really FLUFFEH and CUTE AND FLUFFEH AND CUTE AND OH MY GOD, ISN'T KYUUBI JUST ADORABLE? YOU JUST WANT TO HUGGLE AND SNUGGLE AND SQUEEZE HIM HALF TO DEATH HE'S SO CU-_

_**Kyuubi: **_JUST WRITE THE STORY!

_**FFTI: **_You... You didn't let me finish...

_**Kyuubi: **So?_

_**FFTI: **... Nobody interrupts the great and powerful Holly and-_

_**Kyuubi: **__Yeah, yeah, I've heard it all before "Nobody interrupts the great and powefulr Holly and leaves with there life! I AM THE DESTROYER OF WORLD, BOW BEFORE ME AND SUFFER MY GREAT WRATH! FOR I AM KYUU-_

_**FFTI: **__No, actually I was just going to say 'And gets away with it'_

_**Kyuubi: **__What were we talking about?_

_**Shukaku: **__... I pity you both..._

_**FFTI/Kyuubi: **__What's that supposed to mean?_

†††††

"This damnable cage!" Kyuubi yelled to himself, his tail swishing back and forth menacingly "I'm so bored!" Kyuubi whined, his large fox ears falling back flat against his skull

"I know! Ill bring the human here to meet me! MUA HA HA!" Kyuubi laughed to himself, hoping to scare the 5 year old vessel

Kyuubi concentrated on bringing his young vessel to meet him for the first time, a small flash appeared and the child was standing in front of him

Kyuubi chuckled demonically when the child asked who he was.

"I am the greatest of all evils! The strongest and most feared demon in the world, THE DESTROYER OF ALL THINGS GOOD AND INNOCENT! I AM-"

There was a giggle and Kyuubi stopped, he looked down and saw Naruto's eyes wide and sparkly

"The... almighty... Kyuubi...?" Kyuubi finished slowly...

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAL

"YOU'RE SO CUTE" Naruto yelled

"NO! I AM NOT CUTE, I AM-' Kyuubi didn't get to finish...

"SO FLUFFEH! SQUEEEEEEEEEEAL" Naruto finished with another loud squeal

_**Sand Country**_

SQUEEEEEEEEEEAL

"NO! STOP SQUEALING YOU EVIL HUMAN, HOW DARE YOU CALL THE ALMIGHTY ONE-TAIL FLUFFY AND CUTE!"

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAL!

"NOOOOO STOP IT! DON'T COME ANY CLOSER YOU WRETCHED HUMAN!"

**Kiba and Akamaru**

Kiba stared at his new Ninken with dismay before looking back at his gleeful mother

"It's a dog" Kiba stated, his mother arched both eyebrows in her surprise.

"... Um, yes Kiba. It's your new companion..." Tsume told him

"But it's a dog..."

"Yes, Kiba... Akamaru is a dog..." Why was her son having a problem with this?

There was a silence

"Why can't I have a cat?" Kiba asked, nudging the sleeping puppy lightly with his barefoot.

Tsume froze...

"A cat?"

Kiba scowled at his mother, "Yes. I want a cat."

'Oh the shame!' Tsume though, tears gathering in her eyes.

'Where did I go wrong with raising my son?'

"But... But Kiba... Our clan thrives around dogs... We work with dogs...W-" She was cut off

"I WANT A KITTY!" Kiba screamed, waking the small puppy, making him yelp lightly with fright.

"B-But Kiba! You can't work with a cat." Tsume told him, desperation coating her voice. Her fellow clan mates would never let her live this down! "Please, Kiba, just accept the puppy" she begged

"I WANT A KITTY, I WANT A KITTY, WHY CAN'T I HAVE A KITTY? " Kiba screamed loudly, tears clouding his eyes

"Alright, alright! Mommy will get you a kitty! Please stop crying sweetie!" Tsume begged her Kiba, who immediately perked up, a few stray tears falling down his eyes

"R-Really mommy?" Kiba sniffled, his eyes wide and sparkly

Tsume stared at her feet "Yes Kiba. I'll get you a kitten" 'Oh god the shame, the shaaaame!' she though to herself, picking up Akamaru who was back asleep on his little bed, and walking out the door.

Behind her Kiba grinned gleefully.

-**20 Minutes Later-**

"Kiba, I'm back!" Tsume chirped, walking into the room

"Did you get my kitty?" Kiba asked, staring at the bundle in her arms

"Yep!" She said, uncovering the bundle, showing off the fluffy brown and tan cat

Kiba stared

There was a loud squeal of delight, as he darted forth, grabbing the kitten, and running off to show the others his beautiful little kitten

Tsume smirked as Hana and her husband walked in the room staring blankly at her

"You got him a cat?" Hana asked, her own ninken following behind her.

"Nope. I just threw a Genjutsu over Akamaru, to make him look like a cat. It'll wear off slowly as the years progress and Kiba'll never know the difference." Tsume grinned widely at her daughter, her husband sweatdropped.

"Clever, I know, right?" Tsume skipped out of the room, her ninken, Kuromaru, skipping after her.

Hana turned to her dad and stared at him.

Her father had a sudden sense of impending doom

Hana narrowed her eyes darkly at him

"You mean to tell me, that my ninken isn't actually a cat?"

"Uh..."

**Kakashi and his dog summons**

Kakashi stared at his new dog summon blankly, "Why do I have to have dog summons, why can't I summon something cool? Like a Panda, or a Cheetah, or a Fox, or a Rabbit, or-"

Kakashi was cut off by his father.

"We summon dogs, my son. Live with it" Sakumo told his son

"But dogs are stupid!" He yelled, pointing to the pug

The pugs eyes widened, staring balefully at his new summoner

'Uh oh' Sakumo though, backing away from the dog, and his son

"_HOW DARE YOU, HUMAN! DOGS ARE SO MUCH COOLER THAN PANDAS AND CHEETAHS AND FOXES AND RABBITS!"_ The summoned dog shrieked

"Yeah right! Dogs are filthy creatures who eat their own poo!" Kakashi snarled at the summon, as Sakumo backed away further. This would not end well.

"_How da- GRRRR - FEEL THE WRATH OF MY FLAMING PISS!"_ The small summoned pug yelled, lifting it's leg. A stream of flaming piss shot out, onto Kakashi's leg, catching him on fire

Kakashi screamed

"DADDY! HEEEEELP! I'M ON FIRE!" Kakashi cried, his arms waving around as he ran in circles

"Stop, drop, and roll, Kakashi."

Kakashi did as he was told.

Accidentally dropping into a pile of crap and rolling over it.

"ARRRRRG"

The pug glares at the singed, crap covered boy before poofing away.

Sakumo shook his head sadly, "I should have picked the Koala Bear contract" he muttered to himself

His own wolf-like summon slowly turned his head towards him, it's eyes darkening

Sakumo froze and turned towards his summon.

"I-I was j-just kidding...?" he stated, moving away from his advancing companion

The large wolf growled

10 minutes later found Kakashi and Sakumo lying on the ground in intense burning pain, covered in what smelled like urine, burnt flesh, and feces.

"and that, my son, is why you don't ask for another summon, or even think about it – ever"

Kakashi twitched a few times, but remained silent.

Maybe having a dog for a summon wasn't so bad?

†††††

_**FFTI**: Isn't that awesome!_

_**Kyuubi**: No..._

_**FFTI**: ..._

_**FFTI**: You break my heart like a full-grown cheetah snapping the neck of a baby deer, that ran as fast as it could to get away from the cheetah, but it was too slow and SNAP! CRACKLE AND CRUNCH!_

_**Kyuubi**: ..._

_**FFTI**: THEN BLOOD SQUIRTS ACROSS THE GRASS!_

_**Kyuubi**: Umm... FFTI?_

_**FFTI**: AND THE CHEETAH STARTS TEARING INTO THE DEER'S FLESH!_

_**Kyuubi**: I get it! Stop!_

_**FFTI**: JUST RIPPING AND RIPPING AS BLOOD COATS THE FUR OF THE CHEETAH_

_**Kyuubi**: STOP IT!_

_**FFTI**: BUT THE DEER WAS STILL ALIVE YOU SEE! IT TRIED GETTING AWAY BUT THE CHEETAH HOLD IT BACK WITH IT'S LONG POWERFUL CLAWS!_

_**Kyuubi**: Oh god! I can't take it anymore! **Runs away crying**_

_**FFTI**: THEN THE CHEET- Huh? Where did Kyuubi go?_

_**Shukaku**: Ugh... Those two are so immature... REVIEW OR ILL CRUSH YOU! Also, our_ _thanks to azurefirewulf for the wonderful idea, I hope you enjoyed it. Sorry if it's a bit short._


End file.
